Forgiving one

Thu14thDec 2017

I painted this as I worked through forgiving someone for whom I held such incredible anger. Expressing yourself artistically is like screaming out loud to let something go, but instead of screaming, you are taking that sameenergy - which you would have expressed vocally - and putting it into an art piece. 

I do this by choosing paints that express what I'm feeling, and I just draw/paint etc whatever comes to me. Sometimes aggressive, straight lines might represent my anger, while longer graceful curved lines represent letting that anger go. It's a conversation. I might think "oh man, I HATED them doing this.." and paint during that, then think "But they did the best they could, they didn't know how to be better, and I let that go" and paint something that feels gentler because I feel gentler in that moment. All the energy, one way or another, that fails to serve me goes into that painting. I keep at that conversation until I feel I'm done. In this case, I wrote a forgiving blurb around the outside perimeter of the painting but I only wrote the first letter in any of the words. It was very methodical, and really allowed me to choose my words carefully and with feeling. 

I went into this painting absolutely furious, and left in a state of peace. If you don't feel anger from the painting, that's probably why. There is anger and there is resolution.